Andreas Voldstad, DPhil candidate in Psychiatry at the University of Oxford, examines how mindfulness may support romantic relationships. Drawing on recent evidence and his own research, the author invites you to participate in his exciting new study.

How we relate to ourselves and others

From the start of my PhD, my supervisor Professor Willem Kuyken and I have been coming back to the same idea:

how we relate to our own thoughts and feelings shapes how we relate to other people and the world around us. And we ourselves have been shaped by the world we live in. 

It is no wonder that many of the stressful and nourishing experiences we investigate during a mindfulness course often involve other people. Decades of research show that the quality of our connection to others is essential to what we consider a healthy life (Birmingham and Holt-Lunstad, 2018; Downward et al., 2022; Doyle and Link, 2024).  

Our nervous system is exquisitely sensitive to other human beings. In the Mindfulness for Life course, we explore this early on with the “Walking down the street” exercise. We imagine smiling and waving to someone we know who simply keeps on walking and does not respond. There’s also a good chance that some of the experiences we bring to mind in the 10-finger appreciation practice include some of the people in our lives. In the 50:50 practice, we learn to use the body as an anchor to stay present and aware while interacting with others. 

There is substantial evidence for the benefits of mindfulness on stress, mental health and wellbeing (Goldberg et al., 2022). In recent years, there has also been an increasing interest in the effects of mindfulness on close relationships. Mindfulness is a way of attending and relating to our present-moment experience, with approach-attitudes like curiosity and care. A large and meaningful part of that experience includes the people in our lives.  

Relational suffering and distress

My PhD project on mindfulness in relationships is motivated by a wish to reduce relational suffering and distress. Relationships can be extremely difficult to navigate. They can evoke uncomfortable feelings like fear, anger, and shame, and push us beyond our window of tolerance. When we lack the capacity to be present and turning towards our experience, we can unintentionally compound our own suffering and that of others.  

I myself have had difficult attachment experiences early on that still carry over into my adult relationships with others. Closeness and connection to others can be a source of joy and resilience, but also trigger anxiety and avoidance. I know how supportive the transformational internal work of mindfulness can be, and how it can extend into this relational space. As attention is an increasingly limited commodity, the ability to stay present can allow us to truly feel what it is like to be with the people in our lives. Conversely, I also know how difficult it can be to be mindfully present with your internal experience when you lack a felt sense of safety, and how relationships can support the natural capacity to be mindful. Presence may be the ground for connection, and connection may be the ground for presence. 

As a meditator and budding researcher, I wondered if mindfulness could be a pathway not only to relieving relational distress, but promoting relational flourishing. For many of us, a central relationship in our lives is a romantic couple relationship. My supervisor has taught me you often need to tighten the scope of your research if you want to gain new insight. We therefore decided to focus on couples for my project, although other relationships are equally important. 

People who are more mindful also tend to be more satisfied and secure in their romantic relationship (Quinn-Nilas, 2020; Stevenson et al., 2017). Studies suggest both participants and their partners (who were not participating themselves) can experience improvements in their relationship during 8-week beginner’s mindfulness courses (Gillespie et al., 2015; Khaddouma et al., 2017). 

A systematic review and meta-analysis

However, the scientific literature on the effects of mindfulness on relationships is still relatively limited. To learn more, we conducted a systematic review and meta-analysis of the effect of mindfulness interventions on romantic relationship satisfaction in randomised controlled studies (Voldstad et al., 2025). The 28 studies included a range of general and clinical populations, and different forms of mindfulness interventions, ranging from brief 2-week meditation interventions to 8-week teacher-led group courses. 

We found that mindfulness interventions in general have a small positive effect on how satisfied people are with their romantic relationship. The small effect was comparable to meta-analyses of established relationship education programmes. This was particularly impressive given that many of the included mindfulness interventions did not include specific relationship content. 

However, the results were limited by several sources of bias. We concluded that the certainty of evidence is still very low, and that we still know little about how and for whom mindfulness practice impacts relationships. 

Training on how to be mindful in relationships

Most of the interventions included in our review did not give participants any formal training in how to be mindful in their relationships. While any beginners’ mindfulness course might be beneficial, we believe that mindfulness will have a deeper impact on our relationships if we are also given training on how to translate mindfulness into our interactions.

Several courses for graduates of beginners’ mindfulness courses offer such specific training, such as the Interpersonal Mindfulness Programme, Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living, and Deepening Mindfulness and Mindful Communication (Bartels-Velthuis et al., 2020; Koster et al., 2023). In our review, we also highlight the important role of trained mindfulness teachers when implementing group-based mindfulness courses. The lack of effects in some studies may have been due to the course facilitators not being trained mindfulness teachers. Practising mindfulness in relationships is fairly advanced, and may require deep embodiment on the part of the teacher. 

Of the interventions included in our review, Mindfulness-Based Relationship Enhancement (MBRE) (Carson et al., 2004) stood out. MBRE was guided by a theory of how mindfulness can improve relationships, offered specific training on how to practice mindfulness in couple relationships, and was facilitated by trained mindfulness teachers and delivered in a group format consistent with the criteria for a Mindfulness-based Programme (Crane et al., 2017).

MBRE adapted MBSR to enhance the relationships of couples who were already doing well. It showed substantial effects on several relationship outcomes, suggesting that mindfulness can move couples from good relational health to flourishing wellbeing. Unfortunately, we are not aware of any replication of the MBRE study, and no teacher training is currently being offered. However, our colleagues at Radboud University in the Netherlands are currently conducting a promising study on a Mindfulness-Based Couple Intervention which is a similar adaptation of MBSR. 

As we note in our paper, relationship satisfaction might not be the most appropriate outcome for mindfulness interventions. Satisfaction may be overly focused on self-interest (Fowers et al., 2016). We may be missing other ways in which mindfulness could deepen relationships and promote flourishing together. 

Day-to-day relationship dynamics

Many studies involve questionnaires spaced several weeks apart. Other types of research designs might help increase our understanding of what role mindfulness might play in day-to-day relationship dynamics.  

Daily diary studies involve brief questionnaires that are repeated on a daily basis for a period of time. The ubiquity of smartphones, which are so often a source of distraction in our lives, can be very helpful for research on mindfulness in daily life. Mobile app-based research makes it easier and more convenient for participants to respond to frequent brief surveys and receive meditation recordings. 

For example, a study of new parents by Morin and colleagues (2024) found that on days when participants were more mindful with their partner than usual, both they themselves and their partner were more satisfied than usual with their relationship. 

Only a few studies have examined the same-day effects of mindfulness practice. Our meta-analysis suggests that the quality of my romantic relationship might improve, at least a little bit, from before to after an 8-week mindfulness course. But does it matter whether I do my practice today? In two 8-week daily diary studies, May and colleagues (2026, 2020) found that on days when participants meditated, both the participants and their non-meditating partner experienced less negative affect.

Their results suggest that your meditation practice today can impact not just your own experience, but the people around you. 

How mindfulness might influence our relationships

Mindfulness can influence how we relate to our thoughts, emotions, and impulses. This in turn might influence what we experience and how we behave with the people in our lives (Karremans et al., 2025). Mindfulness can promote acceptance and nonjudgement, self-compassion, emotion regulation and stress coping skills, all of which might benefit our relationships (Karremans et al., 2017). 

Mindfulness helps us be present with what is happening here and now. When we are present, it’s possible to connect with each other. 

To learn more about the mechanisms of mindfulness, we have started analysing a qualitative dataset of long-term meditators’ experiences of mindfulness in relationships. While it is too early to draw any conclusions, I am struck by the many accounts of agency, compassion and nonreactivity when interacting with close others, particularly in difficult conversations or conflicts. Meditators describe becoming aware of habitual impulses or the pull of unhelpful relationship patterns in the moment, and then pausing to choose their response. It is still possible to contribute anonymously to this dataset.

In a recent secondary analysis (currently under review) of the May et al. (2020) data, we explored whether specific mindfulness skills account for the effects of mindfulness practice on others. We found that the meditator’s non-reactivity mediated the effect of meditation on the non-meditating partner’s negative affect. In other words, there appears to be something about being able to allow thoughts and feelings to come and go that can influence our close relationships. However, more research is needed, particularly on the many other ways in which mindfulness might influence our relationships. 

Mobile app-based mindfulness practice

In our systematic review, we found too few studies on mindfulness interventions that were not taught in a group format, such as mobile apps, to reach any conclusion about their effects. These studies are important, as they can tell us about the relational effects of mindfulness practice without the additional components of group-based mindfulness programs, such as the group, teacher, and the non-meditation curriculum. 

Mobile app-based mindfulness practice is a popular way to learn mindfulness (Simonsson et al., 2021) and can contribute to reducing geographical and financial barriers to mindfulness training. However, the evidence is still very limited (Schwartz et al., 2023), and we are aware of little research on their relational effects. 

In recent years, there has also been an increasing interest in the potential for mindfulness to promote positive emotions through attending to the world around us, and the idea that shared positive experiences with others broaden our awareness and build our capacities. Most prior studies have used meditations such as mindfulness of breathing, focusing on the ‘internal’ aspect of our experience. However, courses such as Mindfulness for Life include several other practices that promote appreciation, and more directly bring the external world into our meditation. 

A 4-week app-based study on mindfulness in couples

In order to learn more, we are currently recruiting for a 4-week app-based study on mindfulness in couples. We build on the prior research summarised above. We hope our findings can help us understand more about day-to-day experiences of mindfulness and close relationships, and how meditators implement mindfulness in their daily lives. 

Unlike prior studies, this study is open to both beginners and experienced meditators. We warmly invite both beginners and people with prior training (such as the Oxford Mindfulness courses) to participate. 

Participants, and their partners if they join, will be asked to respond to a brief survey every evening. 

Participants will also be asked to follow specific meditation recordings, based on Mindfulness for Life, for 2 weeks of the study, and to not meditate for 2 weeks of the study.  

Participants are encouraged to invite their partner to join the study. Their partner will not be asked to meditate, only to respond to surveys.  

Invitation to participate in our research study: 

We are recruiting for a daily diary study on mindfulness in couples.  

• The inclusion criteria are 1) being 18 years of age and older, and 2) being in a couple relationship.
• The surveys and meditations will be hosted on a smartphone app, so a smartphone is necessary to participate. You can enrol with your partner, or alone if your partner declines to participate. Your partner will not be asked to meditate. 
• The study is suitable both for beginners and participants with prior meditation experience.  
• The study involves 31 days of brief surveys every evening. In addition, participants will be asked to complete a daily meditation every morning for 2 weeks of the study. For the other 2 weeks of the study, we ask participants not to meditate at all.  
• Partners will only be asked to complete the evening surveys. 
• We estimate the daily survey takes up to 5 minutes. The meditations last around 15 minutes and include instructions for how to practice mindfulness throughout the rest of your day. 
• Interested participants are invited to read more and register.  
• After registration, you will be given a link they can share with their partner if you would like to invite your partner to join the study. 

Please share if you know anyone who might be interested! 

Declaration of interests: 

Andreas Voldstad is trained to teach mindfulness by Oxford Mindfulness. 

• Bartels-Velthuis, A.A., van den Brink, E., Koster, F., Hoenders, H.J.R., 2020. The Interpersonal Mindfulness Program for Health Care Professionals: a Feasibility Study. Mindfulness 11, 2629–2638. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01477-5
• Birmingham, W.C., Holt-Lunstad, J., 2018. Social aggravation: Understanding the complex role of social relationships on stress and health-relevant physiology. Int. J. Psychophysiol., The Psychophysiology of Stress and Adaptation: Models, Pathways, and Implications 131, 13–23. https://doi.org/gd9pnj
• Carson, J.W., Carson, K.M., Gil, K.M., Baucom, D.H., 2004. Mindfulness-based relationship enhancement. Behav. Ther. 35, 471–494. https://doi.org/d3mzdt
• Crane, R.S., Brewer, J., Feldman, C., Kabat-Zinn, J., Santorelli, S., Williams, J.M.G., Kuyken, W., 2017. What defines mindfulness-based programs? The warp and the weft. Psychol. Med. 47, 990–999. https://doi.org/gddtfs
• Downward, P., Rasciute, S., Kumar, H., 2022. Mental health and satisfaction with partners: a longitudinal analysis in the UK. BMC Psychol. 10, 1–10. https://doi.org/gp9ntc
• Doyle, D.M., Link, B.G., 2024. On social health: history, conceptualization, and population patterning. Health Psychol. Rev. 18, 619–648. https://doi.org/n37j
• Fowers, B.J., Laurenceau, J.-P., Penfield, R.D., Cohen, L.M., Lang, S.F., Owenz, M.B., Pasipanodya, E., 2016. Enhancing relationship quality measurement: The development of the Relationship Flourishing Scale. J. Fam. Psychol. 30, 997–1007. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000263
• Gillespie, B., Davey, M.P., Flemke, K., 2015. Intimate Partners’ Perspectives on the Relational Effects of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Training: A Qualitative Research Study. Contemp. Fam. Ther. 37, 396–407. https://doi.org/gjvb4t
• Goldberg, S.B., Riordan, K.M., Sun, S., Davidson, R.J., 2022. The Empirical Status of Mindfulness-Based Interventions: A Systematic Review of 44 Meta-Analyses of Randomized Controlled Trials. Perspect. Psychol. Sci. J. Assoc. Psychol. Sci. 17, 108–130. https://doi.org/gh5s6p
• Karremans, J.C., Schellekens, M.P.J., Kappen, G., 2017. Bridging the Sciences of Mindfulness and Romantic Relationships: A Theoretical Model and Research Agenda. Personal. Soc. Psychol. Rev. 21, 29–49. https://doi.org/f9mmf2
• Karremans, J.C., van der Schans, K.L., Leavitt, C.E., 2025. The Relational Impact of Mindfulness Through the Lens of the MIRROR Model, in: Ostafin, B.D., Robinson, M.D., Meier, B.P. (Eds.), Handbook of Mindfulness and Self-Regulation: Theoretical, Cognitive Neuroscience, Social-Personality, and Clinical Perspectives. Springer Nature Switzerland, Cham, pp. 303–324. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-91451-5_13
• Khaddouma, A., Coop Gordon, K., Strand, E.B., 2017. Mindful Mates: A Pilot Study of the Relational Effects of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction on Participants and Their Partners. Fam. Process 56, 636–651. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12226
• Koster, F., Heynekamp, J., Norton, V., 2023. Mindful Communication: Speaking and Listening with Wisdom and Compassion. Taylor & Francis.
• May, C.J., Ostafin, B.D., Snippe, E., 2020. Mindfulness meditation is associated with decreases in partner negative affect in daily life. Eur. J. Soc. Psychol. 50, 35–45. https://doi.org/ggjb66
• May, C.J., Schuling, R., Ziegfeld, L., El Hessen, N.H.A., Bunting, A., Kleilein, F., Ostafin, B., van Vugt, M., 2026. Mindfulness in Relationships: Eight-Week Mindfulness Intervention Associated with Decreased Negative Emotion and Increased Nonreactivity in Non-meditating Romantic Partners. Mindfulness. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-026-02800-2
• Morin, L., Laurin, J.C., Doucerain, M., Grégoire, S., 2024. A Multilevel Diary and Dyadic Study Exploring the Link Between New Parents’ Mindfulness and Relationship Satisfaction. Mindfulness 15, 2330–2346. https://doi.org/10/g9dhgm
• Quinn-Nilas, C., 2020. Self-Reported Trait Mindfulness and Couples’ Relationship Satisfaction: a Meta-Analysis. Mindfulness 11, 835–848. https://doi.org/ghc48h
• Schwartz, K., Ganster, F.M., Tran, U.S., 2023. Mindfulness-Based Mobile Apps and Their Impact on Well-Being in Nonclinical Populations: Systematic Review of Randomized Controlled Trials. J. Med. Internet Res. 25, e44638. https://doi.org/qmsj
• Simonsson, O., Fisher, S., Martin, M., 2021. Awareness and Experience of Mindfulness in Britain. Sociol. Res. Online 26, 833–852. https://doi.org/10.1177/1360780420980761
• Stevenson, J.C., Emerson, L.-M., Millings, A., 2017. The Relationship Between Adult Attachment Orientation and Mindfulness: a Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Mindfulness 8, 1438–1455. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-017-0733-y
• Voldstad, A., Zeas-Sigüenza, A., Skolzkov, A., Walthaug, M., Montero-Marín, J., Kuyken, W., 2025. The effect of mindfulness interventions on couple relationship satisfaction: A systematic review and meta-analysis. J. Consult. Clin. Psychol. 93, 427–442. https://doi.org/10/g9kq67